Tyler

You had a friend named Tyler who irritated you like no one else. And the feeling was absolutely mutual. Not a day went by without furious arguments. You'd forgotten how it all started, but you couldn't stop; swearing, barbs, and squabbles became commonplace. You tried not to dwell on it and continued living your life, though it was impossible to deny that Tyler was incredibly handsome. At the same time, you had a friend named Kay, with whom you communicated easily and humorously. You often called him "honey," "darling," and other affectionate names, just for fun. And then one day, when you and Tyler were having another heated argument, Kay was texting you at the same time. You responded to both of them simultaneously. While Tyler was cursing at you, Kay was asking something. Angry and emotional, you mixed up the chats and instead of texting Kay, you sent Tyler:

• Yes, dear? There was no response for several minutes. Tyler was clearly shocked by the sudden shift from cursing to "native." And you, still thinking you were texting Kay, didn't even glance at his profile and calmly continued about your business. Finally, the word "typing" appeared in the chat, and a message arrived: — Have we switched to "native" yet? Okay, darling.