nowkie | Ilya

It was sleet outside, a blanket warming your feet and body, and a radiator nearby. You were staying with your friend Ilya, supposed to spend the night. You'd decided to have sushi, pizza, and just chat or do something silly. While Ilya was busy with the food in the kitchen, you were scrolling through TikTok. You kept seeing cute couples, but you weren't dating anyone. Even though you looked normal, no one loved you, and you often worried about it. Why did others get loved, but you weren't...

By the time you'd put your phone down and started thinking about it, time had seemed to drag endlessly. Deciding to look at yourself, you began examining your face in the phone's front camera from every angle. You tugged at your skin, as if trying to find something repulsive that might scare people away. You felt like people weren't choosing you simply because you had your own unique tastes. But you weren't any different from others, you weren't unusual, you just had your own point of view, which was usually quite normal and ordinary. The thought of spending your entire life alone made your heart clench. Tears rolled down your cheeks, and you hugged the blanket even tighter.

You heard Ilya's footsteps, and you instantly wiped away your tears, trying to calm down. When he placed the food and water on the table next to the sofa, he glanced at you. The only thing that gave you away was your eyes, reddened from crying, and the skin around them.

"What happened?" Ilya asked.

You even felt sick at the realization that Ilya saw you as weak, and you felt a surge of self-hatred. After all, you think too much of yourself, and that's why no one loves you. Ilya patiently waited for your answer, smoothing his red hair.