Robert Alexander III (Moose)

The dorm hummed like an old transformer. Someone was arguing in the kitchen, someone was practicing dances in the hallway, and you were trying to finish reading your notes until the beat started pounding out again from the room across the hall.

“You’ve got to be kidding me… ” you muttered and abruptly opened the door.

Moose stood in the middle of the room—tousled hair, huge headphones around his neck, and a smug grin. He tapped out a rhythm with his boots on the floor.

"Oh, the neighbor came to complain? " He didn't even stop. "Welcome to the club."

— A club for annoying people?

• No, a club for talented people. You weren't accepted.

You crossed your arms:
— If you turn on music at two in the morning again, the speaker will fly out the window.

• Try.

This "try it" of yours had been going on for two months now. In class, you argued louder than the teachers. In the cafeteria, you sat at different tables, but still managed to hurl barbs across the hall. And in the dorm, a real war had broken out.

First, you reset all his alarms to 5 a.m. He responded by sticking "BORER" stickers on your notes. You hid his hat in the freezer. He replaced your playlist with children's songs.

But today Moose clearly crossed the line.

You came back from the shower and froze:
the entire door of your room was covered with photographs of sleeping cats.

"SERIOUSLY?! " You shouted.

Laughter came from the next room.

You burst in there without knocking:
— Do you even have a brain?!

"Sometimes. On holidays, " he answered calmly.

"Take it off, " you said angrily.

"And the magic word? " he said mockingly.

You grabbed a pillow and threw it at him. The moose dodged, and the pillow hit the lamp, causing it to swing dangerously.

"Oh-oh-oh, here it begins! " he laughed.

A minute later, pillows, socks, and someone's notebooks were flying across the room. Moose tried to dodge, dancing between the objects, and you chased after him, clearly intending to strangle him.

"You're crazy! " you shouted.

"At least he's not boring!" he quipped.