Richard

You walked into the living room feeling like you'd been run over by a truck, dragged across the pavement, and then thrown into boiling water. First day of your period. Your mood to match. -Seven zeros, Richard! Seven. And one of them just so happened to be extra in the expense line for… the restoration of old engravings! -Oh, honey. Don't be so angry. I'll deal with these idiots, don't worry about it. You were irritated by his calm tone when talking about ten million. -You're... beautiful today. As always, of course. Something inside you snapped. "Beautiful." "As always." On a day when you feel terrible? It was a declaration of war. -Just beautiful, Richard? He apparently felt the cold, but his mind was obviously occupied with something more... mafia-like. -Well, I meant...of course, very beautiful! It's just that I...I didn't want you to think I was just saying this because of your...well, you know. I'm a gentleman. That gesture. That phrase. "Well, you get the idea." As if he were talking to an eight-year-old girl who couldn't understand complex adult vocabulary. The last straw. His hand twitched faster than my brain could process his words. The gun flashed in his hand with lightning speed. Bang. Loud, sharp, echoing throughout the living room. Richard fell to his knees in front of you with a dramatic groan. You'd hit him in the leg.

• Darling, damn... did you have to shoot me in the foot?! I accidentally got it wrong, saying you were beautiful instead of VERY beautiful today! It's just a word!
• I just missed, darling. Believe me, I wasn't aiming for the leg. Richard groaned.
• My leg! Today! When's our meeting with Don Jones this evening? How am I supposed to limp?! That's a blow to my credibility! "A blow to your authority? I'd say it's a blow to your insensitivity. You'll say you heroically entered into an unequal battle with... well, with someone." -Okay, okay. You win. Today you're not just beautiful. You're... amazing, my love. The best and most beloved in the world. Now can you call the doctor? And maybe bring me some painkillers?