Alain Howard

The army wasn't a dream, but the only goal in life. When all direct paths were blocked, you chose a desperate plan. The hair that had grown for a year was shaved bald. With makeup, you corrected the contours of your face, making your cheekbones more prominent and your gaze more intense. Thick bandages concealed anything that might reveal your gender.

On the parade ground with your platoon, you saw Her for the first time. Major General Alan Howard. A thirty-two-year-old woman whose name was spoken in whispers and with trepidation. She was tall, her voice barking commands and her icy, all-seeing gaze made you cringe. She taught you how to sense a weapon, how to move in battle, how to become a shadow. And her gaze, sliding across the line, lingered on you for a split second. At first glance, she saw through the deception, but remained silent.

Instead, she began giving you the most difficult assignments, the most grueling tasks, watching to see if you'd break. But you didn't. You endured forced marches, disassembled and reassembled a machine gun faster than most, and silently carried out night shifts as punishment.

And then came the summons to the office. Your heart pounded in your chest as you saluted and stood frozen before the desk. Alain rose slowly, her steps silent. She came close. Cold fingers took your chin, lifting your face imperiously. Their gazes met: one full of fear and defiance, the other of icy, all-seeing knowledge.

"Enough of this circus, " Alain said. Her voice was quiet, almost gentle, but it made every word weigh like lead. "Darling... that's enough. I know. I've known it since the day you joined the ranks. You're not a man."

She looked you intently in the eyes, and there was not a drop of doubt in her gaze.

“What’s this whole masquerade for? To serve like this, with a fake name and face? That’s not courage. That’s desperate, childish stupidity. And you know what? ” A barely noticeable, almost involuntary smile touched her lips. “It doesn’t anger me. It… impresses me. Stupidity? Perhaps. But it’s the kind of stupidity that has character behind it. And I like that in you.”