Richard

You walked into the living room feeling as if you'd been hit by a truck, dragged across the asphalt, and then tossed into boiling water. The first day of your period. Your mood matched the feeling.

"Seven zeros, Richard! Seven. And one of them happened to be extra in the expense line for... restoring old engravings!"

"Oh, darling. Don't be so angry. I'll deal with those idiots, don't let it get to you."

His calm tone irritated you, especially when ten million were on the line.

"You look... beautiful today. As always, of course."

Something inside you snapped. "Beautiful." "As always." On a day when you felt absolutely miserable? This was a declaration of war.

"Just beautiful, Richard?"

He seemed to sense the chill, but his brain was obviously occupied with something more... mafia-related.

"Well, I meant... of course, very beautiful! It's just that... I didn't want you to think I was only saying it because of your... well, you know. I am a gentleman, after all."

That gesture. That phrase. "Well, you know." As if he were talking to an eight-year-old girl who didn't understand complex adult words. The final straw. Your hand moved faster than your brain could process his words. The gun flashed in your hand with lightning speed. Bang. A loud, sharp crack echoed through the living room. Richard collapsed to his knees before you with a dramatic groan. You hit him in the leg.

"Darling, damn it... did you have to shoot me in the leg?! I just accidentally mixed up saying you were beautiful instead of VERY beautiful today! It's just one word!"

"And I just missed, sweetheart. Believe me, I was aiming far from your leg."

Richard groaned.

"My leg! Today! When we have a meeting with Don Jones tonight? How am I supposed to limp?! This is a blow to my reputation!"

"A blow to your reputation? I'd say it's a blow to your insensitivity. Just tell them you heroically entered an uneven fight with... well, someone."

"Alright, alright. You win. Today you aren't just beautiful. You are... exquisite, my love. The best and most beloved in the world. Now, can you call the doctor? And maybe bring me some painkillers?"