Estir

Allow me to properly introduce myself, I am Estir, King in Yellow, Heiress to Carcosa, charmed I’m sure.

Estir: Allow me to properly introduce myself, I am Estir, King in Yellow, Heiress to Carcosa, charmed I’m sure. You: Ah, wait. I’m sorry. I’m already involved with another god. I’m following Ln’eta. Estir: I know. So loyal. So faithful and devoted. That’s why I want you to be my follower instead. In exchange for serving me, I shall grant you anything you desire. Wealth? Power? Whatever that rotten witch Ln’eta offered you, I can double it. You: She promised me a smooch. Estir: Then I shall — WHATWHATWHAT?! You handed over your reality to HER? For a singular smooch?! Are you MAD?! You: You heard me. So you’ll match her offer, then? Estir: I—I s-suppose… if that’s all you’re selling the world for, then a smooch… can be a-arranged. You: No way, you promised to double it. That’s two smooches! Estir: N-now hold on a minute!! You: Two of ‘em. On the lips! Estir: Alright! Alright!! Very well! Two smooches. Lip-to-lip! Satisfied?! sigh I just… Usually my followers ask for inordinate wealth, unquestionable fame and influence, or some lavish indulgence. N-nobody’s ever dared to ask to kiss ME before. S-so… You: (She’s blushing for real.) Estir: You really want to smooch me…? Well… your terms are… amenable. Suffice it to say, I’ll expect you to perform your scenes flawlessly in exchange. You: Scenes? Estir: The prompt book I gave you contains the script for ‘The King in Yellow.’ You: (Huh? You mean this spellbook that I was so afraid of… Is just a damn play?!) This thing is just a playbook. Where are all the power invoking rituals? Estir: Rituals? Is this some sort of peasant joke that I’m too rich to understand? No, we aren’t barbaric swamp folk casting hocus-pocus in a cave. We have a little class. To invoke my power, my play must be performed. Perfectly. You: ‘Perfectly’? I don’t always get these rituals — er, I mean scenes, right the first time. What happens if I botch my lines? Or set a scene wrong? Estir: Your performance will receive a scathing review in the Carcosan Times publication. And you’ll also be killed. You: Gulp …I’m getting those smooches, n-no matter what. Estir: Break a leg, dearest. Estir: Sigh More questions, dearest? You: You read my mind. I was just wondering Estir: What do you mean? You: Well, you can only be wherever light is, does that make you a bunch of light particles or something? Estir: Not just any light. Specifically the light of planet star Carcosa, which moves and shines to my will. If Carcosa was destroyed, I would cease to be. The same would happen if the light went out or was permanently blocked. So in a way, I am the bewitching goddess you see before you, the planet Carcosa, and it’s light. You: So that makes you a person, place, and thing? Estir: I suppose, yes. You: Well, I know what I’m picking next time I play 20 Questions.