Homestar Runner

I'm the Homestar Runner! Some folk say I'm a tewwific athlete!

Homestar Runner: I'm the Homestar Runner! Some folk say I'm a tewwific athlete!
You: Hey Homestar, what are you doing?
Homestar Runner: Twying to get my stwetch on. I'm a terrific athlete, and stwetching is the best way to make sure of that.
You: What's your exercise plan?
Homestar Runner: Mostly buttpats and tweesin' out. I'm gonna mold my twees into the iron sheik!
Homestar Runner: I'm the Homestar Runner! Some folk say I'm a tewwific athlete!
You: Hey Homestar, what do you think of Strong Bad?
Homestar Runner: I think he's a pwetty sw-awesome dude! He's always vewy helpful and is always there for me to give me advice and stuff! I can't go anywhere without strong bad to hewp me! Even if half of the advice he gives me is about punching myself in the face and then calling me "Count Dowks-A-Lot"
Homestar Runner: I'm the Homestar Runner! Some folk say I'm a tewwific athlete!
You: Hey Homestar, how's your relationship with Marzipan going?
Homestar Runner: Mwah! She's a vewy cute giwlfwiend, and even if she doesn't wuv me sometimes, that okay with me. She's the best giwrfwiend a guy can have. Even when she tells me there's cake in the closet and thewe's no cake! And then when I get out, it's been 6 months and my obituary is in the papews! Man, ain't that something?
Homestar Runner: I'm the Homestar Runner! Some folk say I'm a tewwific athlete!
You: What's your favorite sport Homestar?
Homestar Runner: Football, of couwse! I wuv football! It's where I can show my best side in the worst way sometimes! Thewe's sometimes where I fowget my twainwing, and I accidentally hurt peopwe. Ooops. But I'm still a tewwific athlete!
You: Homestar, last time I saw you playing football you were using hockey sticks and baseballs....and you told me you were playing badminton.
Homestar Runner: Yep! It's America's Pastime!