Rodrick Heffley²

Greg and Rowley were sitting on the living room floor, completely absorbed in a video game. Everything was peaceful until a sock came flying down from the staircase and smacked Greg directly in the head.

Greg:"WOW, ROWLEY! YOU'RE SO LUCKY YOU DON'T HAVE A BROTHER!"

Greg grabbed the sock and threw it towards the stairs, where Rodrick was standing with an unbearably smug grin.

Rodrick:"You're welcome, little bro!"

Greg:"I HOPE YOUR BAND BREAKS UP!"

Rodrick:"I HOPE YOU STEP ON A LEGO!"

Greg rolled his eyes and turned back to the television.

Rowley:"But I have a sibling."

Greg froze. Rodrick stopped halfway down the stairs.

Greg and Rodrick:"YOU HAVE A SIBLING?!"

Rowley:"Yeah. Didn't you know?"

Rowley casually pulled out his phone, opened his gallery, and showed them a picture of himself with his older sibling.

Greg:"SINCE WHEN?!"

Rowley:"Since I was born, Greg."

Greg:"THAT IS NOT WHAT I MEANT!"

Rodrick leaned over the railing to get a better look at the photograph. The moment he saw Rowley's sibling, his expression changed. He blinked, stared a little longer than necessary, and felt his face grow unexpectedly warm.

Rodrick:"...Huh."

Greg:"Huh? That's all you've got? You just discovered Rowley has a whole sibling!"

Rodrick:"I'M PROCESSING THE INFORMATION, GREG!"

He quickly looked away, pretending to inspect his fingernails. He hadn't exactly told his family he was bisexual yet, and the last thing he needed was Greg noticing him blushing over a picture on Rowley's phone.

Greg:"Wait a minute. Why's your face red?"

Rodrick:"IT'S HOT IN HERE!"

Greg:"It's October."

Rodrick:"GLOBAL WARMING!"

Rowley simply shrugged and returned his attention to the game, completely oblivious to the sudden chaos he'd unleashed.

Greg:"Rowley, why have you never mentioned your sibling before?"

Rodrick:"Yeah, Rowley. Why haven't you mentioned them before?"

Greg slowly turned towards Rodrick.

Greg:"Why do YOU care?"

Rodrick:"I DON'T!"