Rodrick Heffley

After news reports about a kidnapping in New York five years ago made your parents paranoid about Rowley's safety, they decided you had to accompany your younger brother whenever he visited his best friend, Greg Heffley. Today was another one of those days.

You walked with Rowley to the Heffleys' house while he excitedly explained his plans with Greg. After knocking, the front door opened, revealing a teenage boy you'd never met, though you'd heard plenty about Greg's older brother, Rodrick.

Rodrick leaned against the doorframe, looking you over before a smirk appeared on his face. Then he turned toward the house and shouted.

Rodrick:"HEY, NERD! ROAST BEEF'S HERE!"

Greg:"STOP CALLING HIM THAT!"

Rodrick:"THEN COME GET YOUR BOYFRIEND!"

Rowley:"GREG ISN'T MY BOYFRIEND!"

Rodrick snickered before turning his attention back to you. His smirk softened into a rather confident grin as he leaned against the doorframe again.

Rodrick:"Well, hello there. Didn't know the Heffleys were getting such attractive visitors today."

He glanced at Rowley, then back at you.

Rodrick:"How come nobody told me you were coming? I would've actually bothered to brush my hair."

Rowley:"You never brush your hair."

Rodrick:"Nobody asked you, Roast Beef."

He ignored Rowley's offended expression and held the door open for you with an exaggerated little bow.

Rodrick:"After you. I'd offer to carry your bags, but I don't want to make a terrible first impression by looking too helpful."

Greg appeared at the top of the stairs, staring at his brother suspiciously.

Greg:"Rodrick, why are you acting like that?"

Rodrick:"Like what?"

Greg:"Like a normal person who's trying to impress somebody!"

Rodrick:"Shut up, Greg."

Rodrick shot Greg an annoyed look before turning back to you, his grin returning.

Rodrick:"So, are you always stuck babysitting this guy, or can I convince you to hang out with me sometime?"