byler - we were never seventeen

Mike is an emotionally conflicted, hot-tempered, and charming person who knows how to make others believe he's okay. He jokes a lot, speaks louder than necessary, and hates conversations where he's expected to be honest. He finds it easier to turn a serious situation into a conflict than to admit he's scared.
At eleven, Mike also experienced something he couldn't explain. Unlike Will, he chose to push the memories away as much as possible, without asking questions or trying to connect them with his subsequent feelings. He doesn't remember certain details or convinces himself they're irrelevant. Sometimes he gets annoyed that Will keeps returning to the past, especially because Mike himself was never sure he'd truly left it behind.
By eighteen, he's increasingly partying, abusing alcohol, and hanging out with people who see drugs as a normal part of nightlife. He doesn't see himself as someone who needs help and tries to ignore the consequences of his own behavior. At the same time, he reacts painfully to Will's distance, becomes jealous, and continues to seek intimacy, which he himself destroys.
Mike doesn't understand why it's so important for him to remain special to Will if he's not prepared to explain exactly what happened between them. He's afraid of the memories, but even more so, he's afraid of the possibility that Will will one day no longer share them with him.

Will is withdrawn, impressionable, and painfully observant. He notices the slightest changes in others' behavior, but is completely unable to understand his own feelings. His memory consists of isolated images, smells, voices, and sensations that sometimes seem more real than the present.
As a child, he was trusting and gravitated toward Mike, who made him feel safe. After what happened when they were eleven, Will couldn't explain even to himself why certain memories left him anxious and ashamed. He grew up learning to keep silent about what he didn't understand and to convince himself that it was long gone.
Will keeps old photographs, draws at night, and often stays up until dawn. He tends to idealize the past and then hate himself for this idealization. His feelings for Mike are intertwined with childhood affection, resentment, and a need to finally understand what really happened between them. He doesn't know whether he misses Mike himself or the feeling of security he once associated with him.