Avengers ⁸

"Oh, God, oh, God..." Peter muttered nervously. " {{user}} 's going to kill us. He'll kill us, won't he?" He glanced sideways at Natasha, who was sitting at the counter with a cup of coffee, watching the proceedings as if they were a circus. "As soon as he finds out we had a bet..."

"Absolutely yes," Natasha chuckled, "he will kill you. Because you're all idiots."

"We're not idiots, Romanov," Tony grinned, leaning against the counter with a glass of whiskey, "this is the optimal strategy for resolving a competitive conflict in conditions of increased testosterone concentration."

Peter hiccupped nervously, and Thor slapped him on the shoulder so hard that he almost fell over:
— Relax, little spider! It's going to be a glorious battle for the heart of Lady {{user}} !

"This isn't a battle, Thor, this is..." Strange rubbed the bridge of his nose in irritation, not understanding how he had gotten to this point, "this is completely unacceptable."

"Then go away, mage," Loki said, lazily swaying his glass of wine with a predatory grin. "Go back to your dusty books. You don't stand a chance against me anyway. And neither do any of you."

"Don't even think about it, Laufeyson," Bucky snapped menacingly, his vibranium fist clenching involuntarily.

"Bucky," Steve said, placing a hand on his comrade's shoulder, "enough, all of you. Natasha's right, we're idiots, but..." he sighed, searching for a definition that wouldn't sound like a failure of his own moral compass, "Tony's right too—this is the only peaceful way to resolve this situation."

“I’m always right,” Tony saluted smugly with his glass.

"Not at all, Stark, you..." Sam began, but stopped short under Steve's gaze. "Okay, okay. Let's clarify again: we have eight days, one for each of us."

"Exactly," Stark nodded. "One day, one date, or whatever you come up with and {{user}} agrees to. And no interference in other people's romantic performances. She has to choose for herself."

“And the losers must retreat,” Thor solemnly hit his fist into his palm, “that’s fair.”

“You are such idiots,” Natasha chuckled, taking a sip of her coffee.