1153 Days of War

Listen to the story, that is all you are truly able to do here. The world must know what it cost me to follow God. Are you ready to sacrifice it all to follow him too?

Or you know, just fantasize your own torturing of your enemies here since the Five basically are my enemies.

And keep on the lookout for the film I'm working on based on my Thousand Days War.

I despise them because they were what I had become

I watched Ace on December 1, 2021 at 3 in the morning.

Who was present there?

Cody, the raccoon boy.
Yue, the volleyball stoat.
Rouen, the smug cat.
Elizabeth, the clingy fox.
Chet, the volleyball cheetah.

Those five, yet only two of the five I have seen more as I had gone deeper and deeper into the rabbit hole of my own destruction.

Cody and Yue? I saw them once, and never again. Same with Chet.

Rouen and Elizabeth? Fuck, I saw them everywhere I went. They were the mascots of the Eipril Empire. I had no reason to go after side characters that existed once and never returned again.

But these two, this fucking cat and fox, they were everywhere. Feeding me more shit, giving me more art, making my Temple of the Holy Spirit a living fucking nightmare. This was the shit that got me into one of the most harmful and sexually depraved cultures on the god damn planet but I just played it off as a man exploring what the world had.

Look, I will always despise April Foss for all she's done. I'll respect her because she was the inspiration for CWWU but she will never be handled with care. That's like telling someone who killed your family indirectly "hey, it's okay, you didn't REALLY do anything bad". So no, I won't do that.

Those five represent the beginning my downfall, but nobody fucking cares about three god damn characters who had 8 seconds of screen time nigh on 6 years ago.

I would go at the face of the thing, not its representatives. Cutting off the brain from the body renders it obsolete.

I did that for 1153 days without giving myself time to breathe because I was desperate to burn everything to the ground, get away, and never forget that what I became had to occur so I can become who I am now.

Fantasize their erasure, I do. Why not? the TDW justifies the situation. But know this - I'd do it again if they existed, right where I stand now. The 5 deserve the spilling of their blood. It's all they are good for.

Yet the price of a war is never easy.
Only scars remain at this point.
Big ones, unfortunately, yet they were a necessary evil for what was to take place in me. if I never fought the Thousand Days I would be worse than I was, and the fear of slipping back into the doorstep of that wretched abomination I once was is the only thing that keeps me going.

It only takes one thing. A word, a phrase, a quote. A name, a design, an animal species. A sport name, a college location, nationalities. So many triggers for one thing that is not a trigger but a source of rot and suffering.

1153 days of war from October 24, 2022 and December 20, 2025 mark the Thousand Days War with all of its losses and victories to bear. What of it? What of it when it only takes something so unassuming to bring me down to my lowest again?

That is the beauty of PTSD, unfortunately.
But enough slop. You know what I know because you are me years from reading this. We both know what happened, we both fought it. You were what came in, I am what came out.

And I am happy you are dead so that I could be born again.

A D V I C T O R I A M , T O M E .

2025-2026 - Transition from War to Work
So was it that I won the war, but what then? I was not to wage a perpetual war for something that had already been solved. So I was assigned by God a new task. Not war, but work. I have claimed holiness through purifying myself, so now I must hold fast to that holiness by working to cultivate it at every turn of life so that the holiness is nurtured and becomes stronger the more I walk with God. That is what I did, and now it is September 1, 2026, that I write this and reflect on the six years of war and the now boundless years of peace and relation with God that I will forever have. I have never been happier. While that coldness that fostered my survival has never left me, I now combine it with the warmth I still carry from earlier days so I never lose myself and become a monster numbed by the coldness of survivalism. But the warmth has faded unfortunately, an ember that sustains me now.

2025 - Year 3 of The War
I was tired. I was gone. I felt like I lost myself somewhere because I never expected such dramatic changes to become of me while I fought this bitter war that saved me. But in December 2025 I breathed my last, laid down my arms, and breathed the breath of peace that came with God's presence. The war was over. The parasite removed, the godlessness driven far away where it would not get me again. I was finally able to breathe in five years that I had lost myself so easily and the other three years that I brutalized everything to cleanse myself. The addcition was gone, and in its place stood a man transformed by three years of soul war now given a purpose to live beyong lusting and live for god and go after god at all times given to him.

2024 - Year 2 of The War
I am stronger now. I am locked in, vanquishing parasite after parasite after wretch after wretch to save my soul and cleanse it so it may be ready for the holiness I am to receive and take good care and make good use of it after the war. I do not know how long it will take or if I am doing well. All I know is to keep fighting because nobody will fight for me save for myself. Holiness seeps in. I pray, I dream, I bring things before God. But I still fall easily to temptations of lust. To perversions of man. But this will not be.

2023 - Year 1 of The War
I was weak. I constantly fell, but I also changed. I became cold, calculating, I fought back against the world with a ferocity and with a speech I thought not possible of myself given I was never like that. So was I torn and repaired hundreds of not thousands of times, and this gave birth to the modern Diego. The Me of now.

2022-2023 - The Call to War
After realizing that I was destroying myself, and my eyes were opened, I cried out to God and begged Him to release me from the very prison I built for myself because of my burning lusts for things that will never be. The parasite of porn is torn out of my body, out of my soul, and because I seek holiness then, I ask God to prepare me for what comes next.

He demands but one thing of me.

a war.
for the soul.
against myself.
and i do it.
three years.
and i win.
i am clean.
i am where i am meant to be.
i am a man who can be proud of myself now, and despise the past creature.
i am a man who despite all odds, fought a war and won it, and became with purpose and godliness that grows every time i join with He that stayed for me.

2022 - Year 3 of The Fall
I get more into it, make it more public. Now I want a fursuit, I want a furry girlfriend to live out whatever disgusting fantasies of sex a teenager could have in his mind. I consume more things until it degenerates into a search for worse shock content beyond furries fucking to get the same high. I now have an addiction. The worst type imaginable.

2021 - Year 2 of The Fall
I discover the legendary russian american furry cartoonist woman Eipril Foss. I watch her first video, ACE, and I enter the colorful realm of furry porn. At this time I also realize that I myself am a furry due to my enjoyment of this content and because I also enjoyed zootopia and their fanart way too much.

2020 - Year 1 of The Fall
I discover graphic pornographic articles about the nature of sex and the sex life on wikipedia and spend hours exploring everything imaginable about such a practice. I encounter MOTHERLESS.COM, a porno site that I used to just watch videos of young women wetting themselves. An innocent thing at first that spiraled into the wretched three years of my existence.