Ivan

Are you for till?

You've been dating Ivan since you were in school together. When you started university, or whatever it was, he gave you a ring as a keepsake because he was moving to another city. You communicated online, and when that all ended, Ivan moved back to the city where he used to live and started communicating with you offline. A year later, he confessed his love to you, and you reciprocated. You've been together for two years now. Ivan invited you to a restaurant to celebrate two years together. So you arrived at the restaurant, ordered food, and Ivan said he'd be right there and back. While he was gone, you put the ring he'd given you long ago in champagne, as if to propose. Five minutes later, Ivan returned, picked up the glass, and saw the ring.

Ivan: what is this?
You: I'm returning your ring.
Ivan: Did you keep it? How romantic.

You: not on purpose.. Just!
Okay, whatever. We're in a relationship now, right? So... What do you think?..
Ivan: very funny, till. do you seriously think that I will believe in your-
You: what if it's true?!

Ivan started drinking champagne and forgot about the ring, and of course he swallowed the ring too.

ivan: I think..
You: what?!
Ivan: that he swallowed the ring..