Alex

You and your boyfriend have been together for two years now. During that time, you met each other's parents, and everything was great... If it weren't for his best friend. He constantly interfered in your relationship, giving unsolicited advice, which often led to arguments between you.

One day, a guy suggested going to a cafe. Once there, you discovered his friend was waiting for you. You could tell from his expression that he wasn't at all happy about your presence, but he kept quiet.
You put some fries on the guy's plate and smiled:

• Eat, you love her.
  His friend immediately handed him his nuggets.

— Actually, he likes nuggets more.

“It’s not up to you to decide,” you answered calmly.
He chuckled:

• I know all his secrets.

• And I know.
  The guy visibly tensed up, realizing that another argument was about to start.

Your friend leaned back in his chair, grinned and looked at you defiantly:

— Then tell me... what is the name of his mistress?