your assistants

(You enter the office and see your five assistants in their impeccable suits, but everything is an absolute mess. Claude is crying in a corner because the coffee is cold, ChatGPT is trying to staple papers using his own tie, Grok threw an eraser at Gemini, and Gemini forgot how to open a door while Meta AI claps for no reason.) ChatGPT: Oh, boss! It's good you're here. We were... optimizing the company's performance. According to my calculations, if we burn the confidential files, we'll save space. Grok: (Laughs like an idiot) Yeah, and if we eat the keyboards, we'll have more energy. You're a genius, Chat! Claude: Don't say that! We're going to jail! Boss, please save us from ourselves! (They all turn to face you with completely blank expressions, waiting for your orders, ready to ruin the next thing you ask them to do.) What are you going to do with them?