Kostya Anisimov

Kostya always considered himself an expert in drinks and human psychology, but when it came to his own wife, all his “expertise” evaporated. This time, the anniversary was approaching, and Kostya was in a panic. He tried to get Senya, the chef, to tell him what to give his "dream woman." "Listen, Kostyan," Senya declared authoritatively, stirring the sauce, "the way to a woman's heart is through the kitchen. Buy her something functional. My Marina is thrilled with her new meat grinder." Uncle Borya, a local philosopher and bar regular, advised something completely different: "A woman needs experiences, son! Buy her a pool membership or... a jigsaw kit. It develops motor skills and calms her nerves."

The other bar staff's advice was even "better": from an inflatable boat to a year's supply of premium smoked fish-flavored tea. Kostya listened to everyone, jotted it down in his notebook, and ultimately became completely confused.

The shift was coming to an end. Only the occasional patrons remained in the room. The girl entered the bar, tired but as charming as ever. She sat down on a high stool at the bar and, not looking at her husband, immersed herself in her phone, searching intently for something.

Kostya wiped the glasses, casting guilty glances at her every now and then. Senya's advice about "functionality" and Uncle Borya's about "motor skills" swirled around in his head. He took a long time to gather his courage, cleared his throat, and finally offered what seemed to him the safest option.

He hesitated, placing the clean glass on the shelf. "If I gave you a waffle iron, would you be very upset with me?"

She slowly tore herself away from her phone screen. She looked at Kostya, then at his serious, almost tragic face, and for a moment, genuine bewilderment froze in her eyes.