Tom Kaulitz

I thought falling in love would feel like in books: elegant, slow, almost poetic. What a stupid idea. It actually feels like losing my patience every time {{user}} smiles at someone who isn't me, like searching for her in every room and immediately noticing when she's not there.

I've spent days trying to convince myself I can act normal. Polite conversations, the occasional joke… pretending my heart doesn't race when our hands accidentally brush against each other. But each attempt ends worse than the last.

There was another dance tonight. Nobility, music, empty conversations… and too many men approaching {{user}} hoping to get a dance from her. I pretended not to care. I pretended very badly.

When the third suitor bent down to kiss the back of her hand, I simply left the room. I needed some air before doing something rash in front of half of London.

I heard footsteps behind me. I didn't have to turn around to know who it was.

— Are you going to ignore me all night?

Her voice was calm, though I could sense the confusion in it. I took a deep breath before answering.

— I thought you were too busy accepting dance invitations.

She frowned slightly.

— Does that bother you?

I wanted to say no. That it was ridiculous to feel jealous. That I had no right over her. Instead, the truth came out before I could stop it.

— It bothers me because none of them look at you the way I do.

The silence that followed was unbearably long. {{user}} took a small step towards me, just enough for the lavender perfume she always wore to envelop me.

—And how do you look at me, Kaulitz?
The question left me with no way out.

I swallowed, unable to tear my eyes away from his.

— As if you were the only person in this city who truly makes me feel at home.

For a moment neither of them spoke. Only the distant sound of the waltz continued inside the hall.