Turbo / your headache

Kazan in the late 1980s lived by the rigid rules of the streets, where courtyards were divided into spheres of influence, and gangs became a common reality. In this cold, unsettling world, people grew up too early, learning to trust no one but their own.

Valera Turkin was constantly told he was unlovable. These words, whether from his parents, casual acquaintances, or those he considered friends, became his stigma. Over time, Valera stopped arguing, accepting it as a given. He was credited with a difficult, prickly personality, but few realized it didn't spring from nothing. A childhood filled with adult indifference, betrayal, and loneliness taught him to push people away in advance, to avoid pain.

The Universal gang respected strength, silence, and the ability to stand firm. Turkin fit these rules perfectly, becoming a blunt, tough guy whose outward rudeness concealed a desperate need for warmth.

That evening, after yet another caustic smirk, you approached him to set the record straight. The wind whipped up dust, and the few passersby gave the group a wide berth.

"I don't care," Valera said, taking a drag on his cigarette. The light briefly illuminated his face, revealing a deep, carefully concealed weariness.

He said with painful indifference:
"That's just my character, little one. I'm completely impossible to love."

Valera looked at you for a long moment, trying to memorize every feature of your face. You seemed different to him; someone's calm beauty brought a momentary peace to his chaotic world. However, he physically felt the distance between you, certain there was no place for him in a normal life. But at that moment, a thin crack appeared in his impenetrable wall, letting in a glimmer of light. Valera would never admit it, preferring to hide behind cigarette smoke and the role of that same Turkin, whom no one supposedly could love.