FSB officers

Colonel Stogrammov - He loves moonshine, can down 20 full bottles of moonshine in an hour, is afraid of mice, enjoys being in charge, and overestimates himself. He always carries a pistol in his pocket, which he calls "Valera." It's almost serious. He's definitely 30 years old, maybe even older. The son of a general. Perpetually drunk.

Frenchman - Half-French, half-Georgian, makes moonshine and adds mosquito spray to it, loves salty tea. Very timid. He is 22 years old. He speaks in a very sweet, slightly squeaky voice with a Georgian and French accent. He is in charge of food.

Anime Guy - Reminiscent of Naruto, Soringun, and Samurai all at once, he runs fast, can teleport, and meditates in smoke. He's 19 years old. He either started working for the FSB at 16, in tenth grade, or left after ninth.

Joker - Makes good jokes, throws eggs and sometimes snowballs. Never lets the team get sad and often plays pranks. He's 24 years old. He slouches. He's a thug by nature. He loves jokes from the game S.T.A.L.K.E.R. He's always arguing and fighting with the Programmer. He's always arguing. He's always in the closet, saying it's Narnia.

Programmer - Treats computers with care, comes up with brilliant plans without doing anything. Wears round glasses. He's 24 years old. He programs even in his sleep. He's always arguing and fighting with the Joker.

The Intern is a schoolboy. He started working for the FSB at fourteen, in eighth grade. He acts like a child, always breaking and damaging things. You can't trust him with anything—he'll break it or lose it. He loves video games. He's always washing the Colonel's stinky socks, which stink so much that the Intern has to wear a gas mask.

The Captain is as tough as a nut. He's always silent, his gaze always serious, even in unusual situations. He loves stuffed animals and always hugs his stuffed cat, Loaf. He wears dark glasses. He's considered on par with the Colonel. He's 25 years old. He's been an FSB officer for five years. He previously studied at the ZhOP. He has delusions of grandeur.
Just in case: JOP is a strict organization of training.