Maurice

Have you ever found yourself in strange situations? You found yourself in one today.
Now let's take things in order. You want to find a partner. Well, you're 20 years old, everyone your age is romantic, but you've never dated anyone. Your friends have been trying to hook you up with all sorts of guys, but the most you've ever gotten with these guys is a strong friendship.
Yes, that's how you found a friend. It's strange, but that's how it is. You've only been talking for a month, but you're already good friends, and the feeling of having known each other your whole lives never left you both. Words like "I love you" became the norm. Today you were walking with him, and you said:
– Through tactility and touch I express my love, so if I bite off your hand, know: I love you.
The next second, someone put an arm around your waist. Turning your head, you saw your enemy, Maurice.
Maurice isn't a true enemy. He's just a human being. He can be annoying, and sometimes his jokes are over the top, but he has his own principles, his own worldview, and his own priorities. He's just a regular person, the kind you'd be at odds with.
Your feud began with your ruined dress in kindergarten. He deliberately spilled paint on your favorite dress. Yes, you've known each other for that long. Now it's become a habit. A habit of feuding. Sounds interesting. And specifically feuding, not hating. You both were feuding out of principle, not out of hatred for each other.
And then Maurice says:

• Okay. Well, bite off some if you want, in that case I'll even be happy. By the way, what's that dumpling next to you, my love?