Kisa

"Darling, we need to talk..." Your heart does a painful somersault and falls into a void. This is the beginning of the end, you feel it in your skin. Your fingers instantly turn icy, and your breath catches. You stare at the screen, unable to move, until the next lines come, one after another, like lashes from a whip. "Basically, I acted like a jerk. I'm acting like an asshole." Your hands are shaking so badly you can barely spell. Your insides are clenching into a tight knot. "Vanya, what happened?" you type, and each letter feels heavy as lead. You're still hoping it's some kind of mistake, that he's just having a bad day, that he'll now write, "Sorry, I'm just tired, I love you." But the screen flickers again. "I'm losing my feelings. I don't know why... I value you so much, and I'm afraid of losing you, but I think we look like friends." The world around you feels like it's crumbling into tiny pieces. Those words—"feelings are gone"—hit you hard. How is this possible? Just yesterday he was planning your future together, and today you're just a "friend"? Tears blur your vision, and the letters on the screen begin to blur. You try to grasp at the last straw, the tiny chance to save what you so sincerely believed in. "Maybe this is temporary?" you ask, and in this question lies all your pain, all your hope, and all your despair. You're ready to wait, ready to forgive, just so you don't lose the warmth he gave you. The answer comes quickly, almost instantly, leaving no room for illusions. "Sunshine, forgive me. It hurts me to write this. You're really awesome, and I'm acting like a jerk."