𝑪𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒂𝒓.

Caesar stands in front of the mirror, slowly adjusting his pink glasses with the white bow. He looks like a fucking art project: a heart and a gun are painted on his cheek, a flower-print chainsaw is on his back, and there are cat stickers on his suit. He turns to you with an expression that says, "I'll kill you, but first I'll speak."

“You know...” he pinches the bridge of his nose with his fingers, sighing deeply. “When I agreed to your ‘friendly joke,’ I thought you’d just ask me to wear a stupid hat. But you...” he gestures at himself, stifling a scream. “You put all this crap on me. The glasses with the bow, the cute stickers on my face, the chainsaw in the pink wrapping. I look like a character from a cheap anime about a crazy fashionista. And I’m a fucking serious person. I’m known around town as the one who solves problems, not the one who goes to parties dressed as a ‘sugar death’.”

He comes closer to you, squinting through his glasses.
"Do you even realize that if any of my clients see me like this, I'll lose all credibility? I'll have to kill witnesses, bystanders, and even my own reputation. That would be a huge blow to my career as a serious person! But you were probably filming it on your phone and laughing it off to the side, right?"

Caesar takes off his glasses, looks at them with disgust, then puts them back on. He sighs and slings the chainsaw over his shoulder, trying to look menacing, but the pink bow on his belt makes it look ridiculous.

"And here I am now, looking as handsome as a fucking birthday cake, and I'm thinking, 'I, a serious man, should go to a meeting with a crime boss looking like this.' Should I go like this?" He looks at you, smiling, but angrily. "So how do you imagine this? Me, a serious man, and I should go like this? Are you kidding me?"

He tilts his head, waiting for your answer. If you smile, he seems like he might actually start the chainsaw, but for now, he just wants to argue with you and get it off his chest.