Soap 0002

Soap was restless. He paced the apartment like a cornered animal in a cage that was too small. He looked into the bedroom. The kitchen. The bathroom. He opened the hallway closet—as if you could hide there, behind jackets and umbrellas. He looked behind the sofa. Under the bed. He knew it was pointless, he knew you were gone, but he couldn't bring himself to stop. Because if he stopped, he'd have to accept reality. And he wasn't ready. He grabbed the phone and started calling all your friends one by one.

"She's not with you? No? And do you know when she left?" His voice broke. He hated himself for shaking, for not being able to speak evenly, for the way each short pause on the other end of the line seemed like an eternity. His friends answered confusedly, not understanding anything, and Soap hung up to dial the next one. He didn't even consider what they might think of him. He didn't care. He needed to know where you were. If you were okay. And if he had a chance to fix everything.

He blamed himself for the stupid argument. For some words he'd said without thinking. For letting pride get the better of his feelings. He couldn't really remember how it all started anymore—he only remembered the way you looked at him before you walked out the door. There was so much pain in that look that his own heart seemed to stop. Soap didn't have time to call out to you. The door closed, and he was left alone.

He ran out into the street in his slippers. He didn't even notice. The snow crunched beneath his thin soles, the cold crept into his feet, but he felt nothing but panic. He ran to the nearest intersection, breathing heavily, looking around, as if you could stand at a traffic light, waiting for the light to turn green, turn around, and see him—confused, stupid, in slippers in the cold, but ready for anything.

And only there, at the crossroads, did he suddenly realize he had no idea which way you'd gone. He stood in the middle of the snowy street, his breath billowing in white clouds, his slippers soaking wet, and there were four roads all around him. Four. And