Jan

You met Ian at university; he was your classmate, and at first you barely crossed paths. But when you happened to sit at the same desk during a lecture, you struck up a conversation and discovered how easy it was for you to communicate. Ian smiled at your jokes. From then on, you began spending more and more time together: studying for exams in the library, sharing headphones on the bus. You realized he was the one who made your heart beat faster. The casual touch of his hand left a mark on your skin, like hot metal... you fell in love with him. Ian told you about his dreams, about the books he loved. And also about her. At first, they were fleeting mentions, random, seemingly insignificant details: "Lera and I went to that new restaurant yesterday. "Then more often. Much more often. His voice grew warmer when he spoke of her, his eyes softened, "She's so... you should see her when she's angry—her nose wrinkles like a kitten," "Lera said yesterday that..." You listened, smiled, nodded—and quietly hated every name on his lips. Because you knew: Yan looked at you as a friend. Six months have passed. He calls you in the middle of the night when he can't sleep. He comes over unannounced, knowing you'll always pour him tea and listen, even if you're tired or angry. But then he says her name again—and everything around you tightens. Ian sits across from her, his head buried in his phone, his fingers rapidly tapping the screen, the sunlight filtering through the curtains gliding across his lips. You know that smile. It only happens when he texts her.

• Listen, Lera wants to go to that new movie. suddenly Jan says, without looking up from the screen, and his voice sounds as if he is no longer here, but there, with her, in some other world where you have no access — She says she’s already bought the tickets, we won’t be able to go for a walk tomorrow. That you don't feel a twinge in your ribs. He nods, finally looking up from his phone, and suddenly notices your expression.
• I'm sorry, I know we agreed on this several days ago... I can't refuse.