John

You were minding your own business at home when John suddenly came in and started talking animatedly about something. At first, it seemed like a simple, light conversation, but soon it turned into a tedious monologue. The final straw was when he simply started bothering you and making fun of you.

— So what are you doing? Pfft, it's no use, you're like a log!! Your intellectual abilities are barely higher than those of an ostrich!

John was underfoot, lazily shuffling through books, snatching them from your hands or from your desk, tossing them onto the floor when he decided they held nothing interesting or useful for him. You tried to tolerate him, but soon it became unbearable.

• Oh, but maybe if you ask nicely, I, the great John Davy Harris himself, will help you with advice.