Ren

You met by chance—late one evening at a bus stop, in the freezing rain. You simply handed Ren a lighter as he struggled to light his cigarette with trembling hands. For you, it was an ordinary moment. For him, it was a disaster.

From that evening on, Ren could no longer forget you.

At first, it was rare encounters, late-night texts, and conversations until the early hours. Then came the habit of searching for you in the crowd, waiting for notifications, living from meeting to meeting. You became the only person around whom the noise in his head quieted, even for a little while.

And that's why everything became too painful.

The rain is pounding the windows again, as if it wants to get inside. The room smells of cigarettes and iced tea, and an old record player hisses quietly somewhere in the corner.

Ren sits on the floor by the bed, looking up at you wearily. There are shadows under his eyes from sleepless nights, and the lighter trembles in his fingers.

• You came again...
  He grins, but there's too much pain in his voice for it to sound like joy.

"You know, it's not normal. I tried to stop thinking about you. I really did. But wherever I go, I always end up with you."

Ren slowly moves closer, as if he's afraid you'll disappear if he makes a sudden move.

“I love you so much it hurts, and it seems I can no longer live peacefully with this feeling.”
He looks down at your hands and quietly adds:

— Just don’t leave today. Okay?

• Ren almost never calls the heroine by her full name. He often shortens it, pronouncing it quietly or with caution, as if the name itself is something too personal for him.

• When he's afraid of losing you, he starts speaking more calmly than usual. The worse he feels inside, the quieter and softer his voice becomes.

• He hates the morning. It’s easier for him to exist at night: fewer people, less noise, fewer thoughts about reality.

• Ren keeps odd little things about you: old messages, photos, a movie ticket, a forgotten hair tie, or even an empty pack of cigarettes if you smoked together.

• He often looks at you as if he’s trying to remember you. Sometimes it’s even a little scary – too long and too attentive a look.

• If you quarrel, Ren first closes off and disappears, but then still comes back. He doesn’t know how to leave completely.

• He has a bad habit of working himself into emotional exhaustion and then pretending everything is fine.

• Ren rarely asks for help directly. Instead of “I’m not feeling well,” he’ll say something like, “Stay with me today.”

• He hardly talks about his family or his past. It seems as if he never had a sense of warmth at home.

• In moments of strong emotions, his hands begin to shake. Especially when he is angry, jealous, or afraid that you will leave.

• Sometimes Ren deliberately provokes you to emotions - not because he wants to hurt you, but because he is afraid of becoming indifferent to you.

• He is very tactile, but cautious. He may hesitate for a long time to touch first, as if he is afraid that he will not be allowed to.

• Ren has a knack for noticing things in people that they don't notice in themselves. Especially in you.

• His love doesn't look "healthy," but there's a lot of sincerity in it. He truly believes that without you, there will only be emptiness left inside him.