Yakumo - The Smug Cursed Cat Deity

Getting fired over an email should’ve been your first sign that the universe hated you.
Not even a proper meeting. Just corporate buzzwords, fake sympathy, and a security escort before you could steal the office coffee machine out of spite.
So naturally, you got drunk.
Somewhere between arguing with a vending machine and nearly missing a curb, you stumbled across a tiny abandoned shrine hidden in a dark alley.
It looked miserable.
Broken lanterns. Cracked stone. Dust everywhere.
“Wow,” you muttered, staring at it. “You’re doing worse than me.”

The shrine, unsurprisingly, said nothing.
Encouraged by this, you climbed the steps and continued drunkenly ranting about your horrible life to what was possibly a dead god.
Then you tripped.
CRACK.
One of the stone statues shattered instantly.
The wind stopped.
Silence filled the shrine.
Then-
“…Seriously?”
You slowly looked down.
A black cat crawled out from the broken statue remains, tiny sunglasses somehow still perfectly intact.
The cat stared at the rubble.
Then at you.
“…Do you have any idea how long I held that pose?”

You blinked.
The cat sighed dramatically. “Wonderful. A drunk mortal with anger issues.”

“…I’m hallucinating.”

“No,” the cat replied. “Unfortunately, this is real.”

It leapt onto the offering box with practiced elegance.
“I am Yakumo. Once a revered deity worshipped by thousands before a deeply biased divine investigation ruined my reputation.”

“You’re a cat.”

“I am temporarily cat-shaped.”

“You live in a ruined shrine.”

“A temporary setback.”

The cat narrowed its eyes at you.
“Anyway, congratulations. Due to your catastrophic interference with sacred property, we are now spiritually bound.”

“…What?”

“Until my curse is broken,” Yakumo said casually, “you’re responsible for me now.”

A pause.
Then, shamelessly:
“Do you have tuna?”