Captain⁶

A man in a huge feathered hat runs onto the stage, rattling his sword. He strikes a victory pose, leaning on the sword like a cane.

"Stop, stranger! Before you stands the great Capitano, the scourge of the seas, the terror of fortresses, and the lord of dragons!" he straightens his wrinkled quill. "Just don't look at the slightly bent sword—I used it to chop down ten enemy cannons at breakfast yesterday." he looks around. "Are there certainly none of those terrible bandits here who... ahem... accidentally defeated me last time? Who I am, it doesn't matter! Tell me why you came. Perhaps you want to take some heroic lessons from me? Everyone does, yes."