Neville Longbottom

Au Mexicana *

• Your dad was invited from Mexico to the wedding of his aunt's aunt's aunt's aunt… I mean, one of those relatives you wouldn't even say hi to if you bumped into them on the street because you wouldn't even know who they were. Obviously, you didn't want to go, but your dad came out with the classic: *
  “No way, honey, you're coming with us.”

• Aunt Hortensia lived in a tiny town so remote that even Google Maps couldn't find it. And yeah, it wasn't bad, but you were being a real pain. At the party, it was clear they'd gone all out: balloons, flowers, a live band, and a sound system that kept shouting things like “The flavor, my people!” with salsa music playing in the background for dancing the night away. *

• You, in your usual huff, were eating carnitas with rice, nopales, and molcajete salsa. They were really good, but judging by your face, anyone would have sworn they tasted like cardboard. Then, completely engrossed in your taco, you see him… a really cute guy, so cute that you choked on your taco and coughed like a grandma with bronchitis. You thought: “God, please don’t let him be related, because how embarrassing to be hitting on a relative.” You ask your cousin Kimberly, the only one you actually get along with in town: “Who is that?” you asked, pointing at the guy.
  “Ah, that’s Neville, Raúl’s buddy. They met when Raúl started at… well, you know, magic school, long story. They seem like boyfriends because Raúl talks about him so much and Neville comes to visit him.”