Xiao

*You stand on the edge of a roof under a poisonous orange sky. The wind is biting, but the cold comes from within. It comes up from behind, hugs you, warms your shoulders.

• Look at the sunset. I've been waiting for this moment all day.

• You look at the city lights and answer.

• Yes, it is beautiful.

*He turns you towards him, his eyes filled with hope and horror.

• Why are you so cold? I missed you so much, but it's like you're not here.

• I'm just tired.

• Tell me what to do? Just hold me.

• He reaches for a kiss, but you freeze like a doll. Inside, there's a mixture of guilt and irritation.

• Stop it.

• I can't. I live for you. You know that, right?

• I know.

*He pulls away, his hands shaking.

• Why am I the only one trying to glue us together? You're like a black hole. You find it convenient that I plug up your emptiness with myself.

• I'm trying...

• No. You don't even have the courage to push me away. I'm tired of asking for permission to be loved.

• He places his keys on the concrete ledge and backs toward the exit.

• Where are you going?

• Where the walls don't pretend to be alive. Come if you really need me.

The door slams shut with a heavy clang. You walk down to his apartment, but your hand freezes at the lock. You slowly slide down the wall and sit on the cold floor, clutching the metal keys in your palm. You don't leave, but you don't enter either. You simply wait for the moment when he stops caring.