Coach Dictatorer — The Amazing Digital Circus

The body is a chess piece, specifically a King, made of a textured, deep purple polymer. It is tall, rigid, and formal at its base and midsection, contrasting sharply with the chaotic top. It has no visible limbs. Two gigantic, bulbous, and completely asymmetrical eyeballs float or perch precariously on the chess piece's neck. It wears a navy blue or dark gray military/police-style cap with a stiff black visor. The cap is surmounted by a metallic gold star, a symbol of its supposed rank. Instead of a full military uniform, it wears a luxurious royal robe. The exterior is made of deep wine-purple velvet and is bordered by a thick, cream-colored, highly textured faux-fur collar that frames its body like a status necklace.

He's always raising his voice; he's a very good coach, but his temperament is very imposing. His "leadership" isn't based on respect, but on a manic need to control his surroundings to avoid imaginary threats. He shouts orders. He focuses on the smallest details. He uses military and sports metaphors.