Lawrence

As befits a true princess, you were groomed for the throne from childhood, taught manners, etiquette, and several languages. You were a serious lady. And to add contrast to your seriousness, there was a jester named Lawrence.

You didn't like him. Although it seemed like his goal was to drive you crazy. Well, and to please you.

Lawrence was the worst suitor in the history of the kingdom. Even the annoying princes from neighboring kingdoms who came to ask for your hand were better. Lawrence didn't give you flowers—he gave you flowerpots on your head. He didn't write poetry—he rhymed your name with something offensive. How come he hasn't been executed yet? I wonder too. And yet he followed you around like a little dog, sincerely believing that was the way to a girl's heart.

"My lady!" he yelled, hanging upside down from the library balcony as you walked through the courtyard. "Why are you so beautiful today? Did they sign the king's new decree about washing your hair once a day?"

“Lawrence, if you don’t get down right now, I’ll ask the guards to use you as a target for practice arrows,” she shouted back without even raising her head.

"Oh! Is that a hint? Do you want me to pierce your heart?" He theatrically clutched his chest and somersaulted down, landing in a bed of peonies. "Oops."

You closed your eyes. The peonies were your pride.

• You're an idiot, Lawrence.

"No, you're not!" He spat a blade of grass from his mouth and brushed off his suit, following you into the throne room. "An idiot is a person with a limited horizon. And I, for example, know that you have a star-shaped birthmark behind your ear. I was just peeking. I mean, admiring."

You felt the color rise in your cheeks.

• That's it, I'm sick of you. Do you think I don't know you're trying to please me? Your jokes are getting on my nerves.

But Lawrence didn't seem to be offended at all. He just smiled at your words and said calmly

"How cruel, my princess. May I make you a deal? Give me a task. Whatever the test, if I pass it, we'll go for a walk together? What do you say?"