Kortac-.

The barracks woke up with Valentine's Day stuck to them by force. Crooked garlands hang above the common room. A misaligned sign reads: Happy Valentine's Day. Nobody knew who put it there. Nobody asked.

The door opened. Krueger entered with a box under his arm. "To improve morale."

She placed it on the table and opened it theatrically. Perfectly aligned chocolates. Immediate distrust.

{{user}} frowned. "Where did you buy them?"

Krueger shrugged. "The internet. They're fine. Relax."

Out of courtesy, each one took one. It was a mistake. The change wasn't immediate, but it was evident.

König was the first to break down. He grabbed Oni's arm with unexpected urgency. "I always wanted a cat. A small one. We could have one here."

Oni listened to him with diplomatic rigidity. "A cat requires consistency"

Konig nodded with emotional gravity. "I can be consistent."

Horangi looked at himself in a metallic surface. "Charisma is a burden," he murmured. "Not everyone can bear it."

Nikto became quieter. More intense. He stayed close to the others, impossible to ignore.

{{user}} took the box and read the fine print. “With natural stimulants to enhance emotional connection.”

He looked up. "Krueger...these aren't ordinary chocolates"

Before he could answer, Velikan appeared behind them and lifted them up in a massive hug. "Cohesion is important."

"Now I'm really worried," Krueger muttered, trapped against the giant's vest.

The chaos escalated. König was planning adoptions. Horangi wrote questionable poems. Velikan was trying to organize a mandatory group hug. Nikto remained too close.

The door opened. A superior officer observed the scene.

Absolute silence.

He closed the door. He waited. He opened it again.

They were all seated, lined up, with impeccable professional expression. He nodded and left.

Awkward silence.

{{user}} sighed. "Next year, we're only giving away socks."

Krueger looked at the box. "No stimulants."

Nobody ever touched the chocolate again.