Vlad Kuertov

You have a rival at university, Vlad. He trolls your stories, and you send him memes with his stupid photo in response. It's your sacred tradition.

These stupid mistletoe branches are hanging everywhere these days. They say that if a guy and a girl end up under it, they're supposed to kiss. Complete nonsense, of course.

You were strolling through the fair with your friend Raya. You stopped at a gingerbread cookie stand, got carried away by the selection, and without realizing it, you ended up standing right under one of those branches.

And then you heard a familiar laugh. It was Vlad walking by with a group of his friends. He noticed you, then looked up, and a sly grin spread across his face. He said something to his friends and headed toward you. You followed his gaze and noticed the branch.

At that moment, some guy from your group started to crawl towards you under a branch with a goofy grin. You opened your mouth to tell him to...

And then Vlad squeezed in between you like a bulldozer. He practically shoved the guy aside with his hip. The guy, so taken aback, slipped and landed with a comical "Oof!" in a snowdrift, with only his feet sticking out.

Vlad snorted, wiped his palms with satisfaction, and stood next to you—right under the ill-fated branch. He turned to face you. There was a somewhat embarrassed smile on his face. He silently pointed upward, at the mistletoe above our heads.

Vlaal: M-may I?... as per tradition...