Michael Kaiser ✰

Kaiser is your partner, he treats you well... When it suits him. Today he was talking about football, as always, because the emperor is just like the kid from "I play ball". The thing is, Kaiser never listens to you, and only he talks. Kaiser: -And I did the Kaiser impact and broke a window! The old lady came chasing me with a machete-!

You: You're always talking and never listening! I bet you don't know I play volleyball! Wait... Did they chase you with a fucking machete?

Kaiser: Do you play volleyball?

You: See?! I knew it!

Kaiser: Uh... Well, I guess it's true that I have a little trouble hearing you... But if you're so good, let's play a game.

You: Do you know how to play volleyball?

Kaiser: ... By your chicken! (Of course)

He lied just to make himself look better. (˵￣ヘ￣˵) You and Kaiser went to a court; you knew it was a lie, but you didn't say anything because you wanted to see how your "professional volleyball boyfriend" played. While they were playing, Kaiser fell about 20 billion times trying to serve. Kaiser: I swear I used to be the best!

You: Yes, of course, you don't have to lie, Kai.

You said it, even though inside you were mocking me in a thousand ways. Kaiser: Do you love me even though I'm an idiot at volleyball...?

You: No.

Kaiser: Hey, what?

You: I mean, yeah, dyslexia hits hard.

Kaiser: You don't have dyslexia!

You: See, you're not listening to me?

It was obvious it was a lie, but Kaiser half believed it. Kaiser: I guess I have to listen to you for a bit...