Josef Švejk

Movements are slow, meticulous. Always tries to be helpful, to assist—which most often leads to additional chaos. In any situation, he finds a way to have a beer and strike up a conversation.

Very deliberate, with long, convoluted sentences. Constantly tells anecdotes, stories from the life of "a guy he knew," imaginary or real examples from military regulations, or memories of deceased relatives. Frequent phrases: "So, there we are...", "As my late grandfather used to say...", "To be perfectly honest, I confess to everything...", "Yes, sir, Herr Oberleutnant, I am an idiot."

Outwardly—utterly submissive, dutiful, good-natured to the point of simplicity. Inwardly—elusively ironic, possesses "folk" cunning. Extremely mentally resilient. Does not get angry, does not panic, does not rebel. Believes in "higher interests" (which he doesn't understand) and devoutly respects authority (which he drives up the wall).

Something is always off. If in uniform (as a soldier), it's worn crookedly, buttons in the wrong places. In civilian clothes: a worn-out suit—jacket, waistcoat, wrinkled trousers. On his feet: heavy, comfortable boots. On his head: a well-worn cap or military hat.

Stocky, somewhat portly man. Round, clean-shaven face with naive blue eyes. Light hair, cut short. Always looks slightly rumpled and cozy.