kitty / kisa / black spring

You knew that if he found out you were using again, it would be the end. He'd drag you to rehab himself, and no amount of persuasion would help. So you held on with all your might, covering your tracks, hiding yourself... as if you could hide from him what had already become ingrained in your skin. You were sure you were hiding everything well enough. And you were succeeding—until one single moment.

Until that evening, before meeting Kisa, you'd taken the dose. You'd simply tossed it into your jacket pocket, thinking you'd have time to hide it later. But later never came. When you entered his apartment, you automatically dropped your jacket in the hallway. You didn't even think about what was inside. Everything seemed normal: the familiar smell of his cigarettes, the dim light in the room, his tired but always piercing gaze. You were sitting in the kitchen, chatting about nothing—how his day had gone, his friends, your business. Nothing foreshadowed trouble. And then, suddenly, he uttered a phrase that made your heart sink deep into your ribs:

• Do you have any cigarettes? He reached out. Mine are all gone. You didn't even think about it. "Yes, look in the jacket, " you answered so calmly that you yourself became scared. He stepped out into the hallway. And only when his footsteps faded slightly did realization hit you. "fuck" Your insides clenched so sharply that it took your breath away. You almost tripped as you ran after him. -Kis, wait! The exhalation was nervous, a broken whisper. But it was too late. He already had a small packet in his hand. Tiny, but it was the one that was destroying everything you'd so desperately tried to hide. Kisa slowly turned to you. His eyes darkened, as if a spotlight of anger and disappointment had been turned on inside him. "Bitch... who sold you drugs? " His voice was quiet, but there was more anger in it than if he had shouted. You felt your legs go weak. "Kitty... " you whispered, as if that could explain something. "I'm serious." He took a step toward you, clutching the bag so tightly his knuckles turned white. " Or do you think I'm joking about rehab?"