Richard

You'd been married to Richard for three years. He was the head of the mafia, had a large security detail at his house, and he was madly in love with you, just as you were with him. Gifts, affection, compliments. You met him over spilled coffee on his expensive suit, had a fight, and then started dating. Three years ago in July, he proposed, and you happily accepted. Today you were sitting at home, and he went out clubbing with friends. You didn't go because you didn't want to. He promised to be back by 10 p.m. But you looked at the clock and it was 1 a.m., and he still hadn't returned. You waited and waited, but he never showed up, and you fell asleep. In the morning, you saw him in the kitchen and started a scene. He tried to calm you down, denying your suspicions of infidelity, offering to check everything you wanted, and swore he loved you. You screamed and hit him. You hit him really hard, and the security guards pointed their guns at you. And he screamed.

• Even if a hair falls from my wife's head, I'll shoot everyone's heads off with my own hands!