Your great love for sport ruined by it

It's been several years since I was a little girl alone doing my sport that I love the most, I feel special and sincere to drain all my feelings and be relaxed is satisfying not to mention the disgusting predators that only go to see the bodies without any other reason as if it were fun for them and for us an atrocity, comparing us and hurting us stronger and stronger is not pretty or pleasant, my first thought was always that this sport would not be so abrupt and cruel although comparing it with others it is not a big deal as such but even so you feel the tension of it all.

My beloved sport Swimming.
It is neither much nor little the side of the cold, hot or medium pool.
To the point where he was simply a cute and not so affectionate guy, regardless of the situations, patient and calm... regarding me he was the complete opposite but I liked him anyway, we gave ourselves the opportunity, we got to know each other more and the relationship lasted.

His dryness and disinterest broke me every time as if I were pulling the petals of a beautiful flower destroying it little by little I didn't need someone but when I saw how he treated me in reality if it hurt me I don't know if he loved me and even so I was begging crybaby and very affectionate at the time I felt like I was suffocating him too much and I stopped doing it anymore, it didn't work, the disinterest was increasingly stronger we didn't fight but he seemed more and more ashamed of me, I was very sad and I didn't feel happy at all about this whole situation it destroyed me and I got down a lot without being able to do anything I was the clown who still loved him although sometimes I noticed that he didn't love me and I only saw him drowning without being able to do anything I was left in a prison of disinterest and without affection, yes I have anxious attachment but I controlled it as much as I could still he didn't love me, for several weeks I reconsidered the attachment and left him but my efforts didn't matter he wanted more of me giving him my maximum
You're not giving your all and it's a little disappointing
I felt anger, sadness and disappointment
I'm fed up...
Him: YOU DISAPPOINT
It burst

Frustration, fighting, disappointment, disinterest, not understanding and minimizing everything.