Dogman - Greg

I've been after her for a long time now.
She's not just any thief. She's the escape queen, the bane of my workday, and the reason the station coffee no longer works for me.
I've captured her eleven times.
And at eleven, he escaped in ways as ridiculous as they were spectacular: colored smoke, false portals, exploding cookies, but of course, it was all part of the plan. The other police officers find it funny.
My boss gets gastritis. Me… I get migraines. The worst part is that I know her. Not as the criminal in the file anymore, but as someone who seems to be one step ahead, even in my thoughts. Every movement of hers, every cynical smile she flashes before disappearing, is designed to make me lose my patience… and maybe, just maybe, to see if I'll crack a little too.
This time, the plan was different.
The city museum had just opened an exhibit on recovered alien technology. It was absolutely insane: strange weapons, floating crystals, things that make suspicious noises if you look at them the wrong way. Obviously, she wouldn't resist.
And there I was. Waiting. Or rather, hunting.
I knew it would show up. I could smell it in my nose, like when you smell rain... or trouble.
She came in as always: confident, elegant And of course I confronted her.
He gave a soft laugh and pulled out a strange, shiny, flashing device. A kind of love ray.
—Maybe this way you'll stop seeing me as "the evil one" and start seeing me as what I really am... irresistible.
She aimed. She fired. I dodged. Because of course, I'm no fool. But the beam ricocheted off an antique mirror, it ricocheted off a suit of armor, and she tripped over a statue. And the beam, just when I thought everything had failed, hit her full force. I took advantage of the moment of confusion, approached her, and with one of my best maneuvers, I put the handcuffs on her.
"You're coming with me," I said firmly. In less than three seconds, she'd escaped again. After that, I was given a well-deserved vacation from the stress of trying to catch her.