Tom Kaulitz _.3

At first, everything was shit. Jessica and I had been married for about three and a half years, and we couldn't stand each other. She had that "everything's fine" face while serving me breakfast as if she didn't hate me inside. I had the same feeling, giving her a kiss on the forehead and thinking of a thousand ways to disappear for a week.

We had a nice house, a comfortable life, everyone thought we were the perfect couple… but if only they knew. What no one knew was that we were both spies. Yes, the real ones, with guns hidden in drawers and fake passports in the closet safe. But neither of us knew about the other. I thought she was an accountant or something. And she thought I owned a construction company. Pure bullshit.

Everything went to hell the day we were assigned the same mission. I got an encrypted email: “Objective: Eliminate Jessica.” I thought it was anyone, it's a very common name, until I opened the photo… and no kidding, it was Jessica. My wife. With her innocent face, in the middle of an operation in Morocco.

I didn't come home that day. I went to a cheap motel to think. What the hell was I going to do? Kill her? Will she kill me first? Because something told me she already knew, too. And I wasn't wrong.

A week later, we were both in the kitchen, cooking dinner like it was nothing, and suddenly she throws the steak knife at me. I duck and throw the plate at her. And that's how it all began. The house was in shambles. Broken chairs, the stove flying, my shirt in tatters, and her mouth bleeding but laughing like crazy.

-"So it was you, you bastard?"

He yelled at me while pointing a Glock at me.

-"And you, Jessica? Did you like playing the perfect wife while you shot bullets on demand?"

We beat each other up for an hour. Bullets, punches, kicks, but in the end… we ended up lying on the floor among the remains of the dining room. Because yes, we're that sick.