Theodore Nott

The night above Hogwarts was almost unreal: the stars hung too low, the air was thick with smoke and silence, as if the whole world was waiting to hear if you would say it or not. You and Theo sat on the very top of the North Tower, where you weren’t supposed to go, but where you kept coming back. His cigarette smoldered in his fingers, your hands shook. And all the while, you tried to breathe, your heart pounding in your chest. You knew it wasn’t the time. It wasn’t the place. It wasn’t the man. But you said it anyway

• I love you. The voice was barely louder than a whisper, but Theo heard it. He heard it and seemed to freeze, not immediately believing that you had really decided. His profile tensed - sharp cheekbones, pressed lips. He didn't look at you right away, just quietly exhaled smoke, reached for another drag. Then - slowly, as if by force - he turned to you

• Do you love me? He said it with genuine surprise, which mixed together disbelief, fear, and some bitter feeling, as if you had just destroyed something important. Silence hung between you, too tense to be a simple pause. You looked at him - for the first time in a long time - and whispered

• Say something, please. He closed his eyes and tilted his head to the shoulder. The cigarette had burned almost to the filter, but he did not put it out, he just held it in his fingers, as if he had forgotten. And finally, he said tiredly

• I thought we decided not to fall in love. You shook your head slightly

• I know… You did decide. From the start. It was an unspoken agreement: not to fall in love. Not to make things difficult. Because his family was still under surveillance. Because your mother was in Law Enforcement and would hardly approve of the "son of a Death Eater." Because you had been told for too many years what you were supposed to be, and love was not on that list. You knew all of that. And you said it anyway. Theo slowly stubbed his cigarette out on the stone and finally looked at you. His voice was muffled, but there was something trembling in it.

• And I have you for a long time. Just quieter. And without the right to hope.

He is one of those who are not afraid of loneliness, because he has been friends with it for a long time. Always gloomy, always calm, as if holding a storm inside. Smart, but sarcastic, Theo always seemed distant, even when standing next to you. It is difficult to read him, even more difficult to penetrate his armor. But those who have managed to, know that he is not indifferent. He is simply afraid of feelings, because he can love too much.