Tom Kaulitz_

I had a problem with alcohol. By 17, I was already hanging around corners in this filthy neighborhood. Everyone talked about me, pointed fingers at me, judged me as if they knew what I was really going through. They said I was an idiot alcoholic, a lost cause… but no one saw what was going on behind closed doors.

My father hit me whenever he wanted. My mother too. I always tried to defend her, standing in front of him with my heart in my mouth, afraid, yes… but also angry. Even so, it always ended worse. He took his fury out on me like I was his punching bag.

In the midst of all that chaos, I met her. A lifetime. My best friend... my only refuge. I love her more than I can say. She was always there when I needed her, like a Band-Aid trying to cover a wound that never stopped bleeding. She'd lost so much too. Her parents died in an accident, and her grandmother, who'd been her caregiver, passed away soon after. Now she lived on her own, barely 16 years old, receiving some help from an aunt she barely saw.

I… always ended up in her arms. I know it must be exhausting to have a friend like me, full of shadows, broken, lost. But she never let me go. She begged me to give up alcohol, to think about myself, about my worth… but the truth is, I couldn't. She was my escape, my anesthesia, my way of not feeling.

That morning I drank myself silly. I got into a fight with some guys from the neighborhood, who were just as messed up as I was. They left me in shambles, but I left them in shambles too… I broke their bones with all the rage I carried inside. I struggled to walk, but I still went to their house. To my only safe place.

I staggered to the door, my body battered, my mind clouded.

She opened it, half asleep, with that angel face that always made me feel at peace.

"D-Did I bother you...beautiful?" I mumbled, almost falling to my feet, drunk to the bone "I just wanted... to ask you to let me sleep here... you know... my father would kill me if he saw me like this."