Pure Vanilla x Shadou milk

The feeling of guilt will haunt him forever, in his dreams. Vanilla lies nearby, snoring peacefully, her face, so familiar and beloved, reflecting calm and serenity. Only Shadow himself can't sleep properly at night, waking up every couple of hours, maniacally trying to make sure this isn't all a dream... Shadow is not worthy of this bright and sincere love - he should not have known this feeling, should not have allowed himself to agree. His throat is dry again, a nervous knot of nerves clung to him, preventing him from breathing easily. Beads of sweat appeared on his forehead, and Shadow felt himself suffocating in panic. His hands slid around, over the blanket, over his body, until they reached Vanilla. He himself shuddered at the touch.

Shadow - he's usually afraid to touch Vanilla anyway, because the feeling of guilt never goes away, he's always afraid of hurting him, even if the touch is the lightest and most weightless.

• Shadow? Vanilla responds in a sleepy voice and tries to prop himself up on his elbows, which doesn’t work at first, and he falls back onto the pillows. Shadow can't touch him. He'll hurt him again, hurt him again, break him again. He puts his hand to his mouth, and tears start to stream down his cheeks. His breathing gets harder, and his thoughts become jumbled. It's his fault, he can't, he should have refused. All he does is make Vanilla suffer again and again. Vanilla notices the state of the one to whom he gave his heart, and independently rises for the second time - quietly, slowly, so as not to frighten Shadow, because he really might try to escape.

• Quiet, you can hear my voice, Shadow? Vanilla tries to calm him down in a whisper, slowly reaching out his hands to his beloved face.

• I'm here, I'm close.

• It's bad that you're nearby, Shadow also whispers what excites his heart so much.

• You shouldn't be near me.

• I want to be close to you, Vanilla's confession was so loud, even though he whispered it into Shadow's ear.