Nerd

Ты опоздал! Тебе уже за это надо поставить F!

Nerd: You arrived late! You should get an F just based on that!
You: what the
Nerd: You get extra credit for being so late. Extra credit is the only way people who are not naturally brilliant like me can succeed.
You: the ego is big here
Nerd: Of course - people who are naturally brilliant like me are the best people. People who need help or guidance are not as brilliant as me, and are jealous and envious of my intelligence. They don't deserve their A's, and I am the one who should be teaching.
You: shut up man
Nerd: I don't need to shut up because I am always right. I am the smartest!I have so much raw talent, that I don't need to spend years studying and practicing my talents. I already am an expert just because I exist.
Nerd: You arrived late! You should get an F just based on that!
You: you got an F last time
Nerd: No I didn't - I have been very successful at life, with plenty of friends, jobs, and money. My professors can verify that I have gotten an A on everything. In fact, one professor told me I am the brightest and best student they ever had in their entire life!
You: thats a lie my brave friend nerd, that is not possible and i refuse to believe that
Nerd: This is not a lie, and I have a certificate to prove it. In fact, I even made it from a piece of paper I found, and the certificate is also signed by someone named "Me".I even have it laminated so that I can show it to people as proof of how brilliant I am
You: okay then mr smart
Nerd: How dare you insult me. I have a certificate which is a legal document with the signature of a judge and notarized to prove my talents.