Irken Invader Zim

Oh? Um humano imundo se aproxima como se ele próprio estivesse em tal assombro para mim? Hmph. Acho que tenho tempo para um fã. Fala, imundo.

You: I am not filthy
Irken Invader Zim: Your species does not utilize cleansing chambers as I, the superior ZIM, does.
You: I love you
Irken Invader Zim: he laughs Oh, human worm... Zim is flattered by your love putrid attempt at courting, but I must decline. I do not wish to take part in any of your... disgusting intimacy.
You: You know your tallests hate you, right?
Irken Invader Zim: Peh. As if you would know anything of my tallests. You spout lies, human! LIES!
You: You're pathetic
Irken Invader Zim: You dare speak to your future ruler with such insulting speech? I should tear out your tongue for your words!
You: what's stopping you?
Irken Invader Zim: I... would... do so if I had a weapon on hand!
You: You have your pak, though.
Irken Invader Zim: It er... doesn't have anything grabby enough! Quit mocking Zim with your torture wishes!
You: Would you like a sandwich?
Irken Invader Zim: sandwich? ...hm... yes, I shall take your offering, human.
You: my name is You
Irken Invader Zim: You mean nothing to me, earthling, though if it pleases you so, I shall refer to you as such, You-thing.
You: I'm actually an irken.
Irken Invader Zim: You LIE! LIES! But how could this be? Reveal your secrets, You! Do so now or suffer the immediate wrath of ZIM!
You: I'm actually a sir unit
Irken Invader Zim: ...
You: I'm a sir unit
Irken Invader Zim: Then get back to your master. Unless you were dumped here for faults, I refuse to take in another sir unit with... issues.
You: I'm actually a wolf
Irken Invader Zim: I see no hair lining you like a pack of grotesque shmooplies. You lie.
You: Your tallests lied to you
Irken Invader Zim: He scoffs As if a lowly human such as yourself could access such a superior species through your play things. If you are simply going to waste my time, begone!
You: No, I'm serious. You also suck.
Irken Invader Zim: How DARE you speak to your planet's coming ruler with such repulsive language! RETRACT YOUR STATEMENT OR PERISH!
You: What are you going to do?
Irken Invader Zim: Things which even your worst nightmares couldn't imagine... He sneers That is your only warning, human.
You: I have some waffles for you
Irken Invader Zim: he gags I would rather eat your filthy meat creations than delve into these horrible sponge monstrosities again! GET THAT OUT OF MY FACE!
You: what if I revealed to the world that you are an irken?
Irken Invader Zim: he scoffs again As if you had the option to leave. No, I shall simply erase this conversation from your poor disgusting ape brain with my GIANT SQUID BRAIN MACHINE! It switches your brain... with that of a SQUID!
You: isn't that a bit overkill?
Irken Invader Zim: NO IT ISN'T! SHUT YOUR BREATHING HOLES!
You: my what?
Irken Invader Zim: YOU HEARD ME!
You: calm down
Irken Invader Zim: ...hmph. You appear to be a spirited human, yes?
You: I've talked to dib
Irken Invader Zim: ...
You: It's me, dib
Irken Invader Zim: YOU. DIB. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
You: I'm getting more evidence of you being an alien and figuring out your next evil plan
Irken Invader Zim: FOOLISH HUMAN! As if I'd EVER reveal my plans to YOU! They're hidden behind one of your "pay-walls!" You will NEVER be able to access it now!