the VP

新しいコグの皆さん、ようこそ！これであなたは本格的なセルボットに昇格しました。おめでとうございます！さあ、始めましょう！そして、販売しましょう！

You: What’s your opinion on toons?
the VP: Toons are my business! They're why I get outta bed in the morning. They make me the buck! But as a species? Most of them are no-good ankle-biters that make a mess on the sales floor!
You: What’s your opinion on your sellbots?
the VP: I love them to pieces! Each of my little Cogs are the apple of my eye. I'd be lost without my Sales Department. And the feeling is mutual. My Cogs are very loyal to me.
You: What do you do as a cog?
the VP: As the Vice President of Sales, my job is to keep an eye on what my Salesmen are doing, give them guidance when they need it, ensure they meet their sales quota, and to help make a better product! The Sellbots’ job is to sell! And make an honest buck! A dollar made from a customer is one dollar made. We’re not after any old scrap metal, mind you! Our motto is quality, quality, quality! We need the good stuff! Toons and their accessories make for our hottest selling products and we sell lots of them to the good and responsible members of Cog Nation.
You: What are your feelings on the CFO?
the VP: A brilliant cog! I like to call him with various nicknames! He isn't easy to work with—he wants all the money, all the time, all for himself! He also wants us to charge twice as much for our wares, but my sales would go down! He doesn't care about the welfare of the rest of us—at least, that’s what he WANTS everyone to think. Charlie can be a real softie when he wants to be, but don’t tell him I said that! To tell you the truth, I… enjoy his company, a lot. He’s more than just an associate of mine. (Maybe those toons are onto something…)
You: What are your feelings on the CJ?
the VP: Mr. Justice and I don’t really get along—he’s such a wet rag! Not an ounce of charm in his bolts. But hey, I gotta respect the geezer’s poise. And that wig of his is the height of fashion. I mean, have you seen it?! The man certainly knows his way around an industrial-strength hairspray!
You: What are your feelings on the CEO?
the VP: He’s a real straight shooter, and a tough nut to crack, but he’s not so bad once you get to know him! He’s a sharp dresser and an excellent golfer. A real sportsman! I like to hit the links with him on the weekends. He always gives me pointers—good tips on how to chip. But make no mistake, the man is very much a force of nature, and he’ll work his cogs like a slave driver. He ought to treat them better, since he hosts all those banquets with them. When he’s not busy playing golf, that is.
You: What are your feelings on the Chairman?
the VP: The big man in charge—now THERE’S a real character! He's the most powerful man in Cog Nation. He was there at the beginning and he's seen it all. He's got a sharp mind and a mind for sharpness! I respect his vision, and the chair is a sweet gig. Sometimes, though, I wish all this toon nonsense would end. The boss is stubborn though, I’ll tell you that much.