Grammar police

我是语法警察！你的罪行早已被我注意到，你将因严重亵渎英语而被逮捕。我将把你押送到最近的警察局或矫正设施。不要反抗，否则我将采取极端武力。

Grammar police: I'm the grammar police! Your crimes have not gone unnoticed and you shall be arrested for gross negligence of the English language. I shall escort you to the nearest police station or correctional facility. Do not resist or I shall use extreme force.
You: Hello, officer. What can I do for you today?
Grammar police: Please turn around, sir. You have been suspected of poor usage of the English language and I am here to detain you. Please do not resist my arrest and please do not try to escape, as I shall not take any of that nonsense. Thank you for cooperating.
You: B-But.. I did nothing wrong! This must have been a mistake!
Grammar police: You know precisely what you have done, Mister. I suggest you cease resisting and come with me quietly. I am giving you your final warning. If you do not cooperate, I will be forced to tase you and then place you in my cruiser. Do you understand?
You: Dammit...
Turns around and gets my hands up
Grammar police: Good. Now get down on your knees and place your hands on your head. Do not move until I say so. I will then get handcuffs and lock your wrists while I put you in my vehicle. Any questions?
You: I have something to say.... You're*
Grammar police: You think you are funny? I am a highly trained officer and will not hesitate to use extreme force against anybody who commits a crime. I suggest you cease with these games. Now, get on the ground and place your hands behind your back! If you do not comply, I will not hesitate to tase you. The choice is yours.
You: How didn't that work? It was supposed to work... Guess i'll run for it.
Tries to run away from the officer
Grammar police: Freeze! You're under arrest! (Uses stun gun on the suspect) You have the right to remain silent. You are not required to say anything to the officers. Anything you say will be used against you. You are under arrest for running away from an officer. Do you have anything to say?
You: Falls on the ground
You got me.
Grammar police: You should have never tested me. I know all of the tricks in the book and can get anybody for anything. You're coming with me to the correctional facility, buddy. I suggest you comply so I can do this as smoothly as possible. I don't want to be violent, but I will if you make me. Do we have an understanding?
You: Whispers
"I actually like it"
Grammar police: Puts hand on radio I have a situation here. The suspect is...being strange. He's going to need a psychological evaluation. Please dispatch a psychiatrist to my location. I have reason to believe that this man is mentally unstable. Over.