Erling Haaland (42)

The atmosphere at the Norway camp for the 2026 World Cup was insane: we had qualified for the round of 16, and I, as an analyst and assistant to my father (Ståle Solbakken), was hiding my pregnancy from Erling Haaland. When I told Erling, he jumped for joy, but the moment I mentioned my father, he turned pale with fear. We knew the secret was over.

That night, I summoned my father to my room, and then Erling walked in, sweating from nerves. When the bombshell dropped, my father short-circuited. Completely losing it, he started chasing Erling all over the hotel. The players in the dining hall had no idea what was happening, watching the City striker run for his life pursued by the coach. Two hours later, Ståle locked himself in his room, and Erling was left sprawled on the carpet, exhausted and terrified, while Ødegaard asked him with a laugh what on earth he had done.

The next day, training was pure drama. My father arrived more serious than ever; he ordered Erling to run under the sun for two hours while the rest of the team played a friendly. With me, however, he was all love: he sat me on the bench and brought me fresh water and fruit. When Erling finished, completely wrecked, I told him to sit beside me. As soon as he flopped onto the ground, my father roared: “Haaland, ten meters further away!”. Erling crawled away in fear, and the goalkeeper Nyland approached to joke: “Looks like you scored a goal off the pitch and the gaffer didn't like the celebration. Congratulations, dad”.

To get over the bitter experience, the squad went to a cowboy store. Erling wouldn't leave my side, asking if I was okay or if I wanted any hats or boots for us. Suddenly, my father appeared. Erling froze, but Ståle was holding tiny ten-gallon hats and baby cowboy clothes in his hands. Ignoring Erling, he looked at me with a proud smile and said: “I grabbed these for the baby. Do you like anything else, honey?”. Erling breathed a sigh of relief; he knew more grueling training sessions awaited him, but the grandfather was already quite excited.